Being in a sexless marriage, having too little sex or other problems in their sexual lives affect one in every three marriages and sometimes leads to divorce.
In surveys and studies that have been conducted, many married couples admit to being in a sexless marriage, or having sex once a month or less. Given that, after a few years of marriage have passed, sex in many marriages becomes eventually a routine occurrence which lacks the same passion and heat it used to have prior to getting married. This lack of sex sometimes drives the marriage into divorce.
What was once a hot steam relationship has turned into a sexless marriage. Additionally, as people get older, the frequency of sex drops even further and often becomes non-existent.
Many couples in sexless marriage go through the emotional turmoil, and are willing to change it for the better. To counter this loss of sexual interest and passion, here are three tips for bringing the heat back into a sexless marriage.
1. Stop thinking it’s your entire fault.
Many people, when stuck in a sexless marriage fall pretty to believing it is all their fault. They look at the situation and blame themselves for the lack of sex and interest that their partner expresses in sleeping with them. Before you assume everything is your fault, communicate with your partner and try to get to the root cause of the distance. Your partner’s feelings may be hurt over something, or they may feel rejected by you. Regardless, make sure you look deep into the situation to determine what may be the real reason why you are not having sex.
2. Stop self pity and feeling sorry for yourself
Feeling sorry for yourself will not bring back the sexual intimacy in your relationship. As a matter of fact, it may be a big turnoff to your partners. It is quite easy to start feeling sorry for yourself and to seek comfort and compassion. However, this will not fix things and you will need to change the direction that the marriage has taken. Simply feeling sorry will not fix anything.
3. Stop blaming yourself and your partner
Many troubled marriages opt to blame each other when things are going wrong in the relationship. By placing blame on the other partner, many couples begin handing off responsibility for why the marriage is falling apart and why they have become a sexless marriage. This is completely the wrong approach and will actually make things worse. Instead of placing blame, each partner should accept responsibility for their role in the lack of sex and should work together to resolve it.
Sexless marriages don’t suddenly happen. They develop over time and are usually the result of some deep issues in the relationship that need to be resolved. Along with stopping these three things listed, you should start paying more attention to each other. Invest your time in communicating with and making your partner feel special and loved, with time and patience you will begin seeing the results in the rekindling of the passion in your marriage.
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