When an individual is thinking of when to get a divorce, they are likely to do so because they are currently undergoing a bad situation in the relationship, and they lack access to the information and resources that can help them save their marriage.
There are many resources and options you can use to prevent divorce. While in the past many people would go to marriage counseling, the availability of the Internet has opened up many new alternatives. Given the new options, there are many home courses that can be downloaded from the Internet and applied in the privacy of your own home. Many of these home study alternatives are developed by world leading experts and can truly help.
Regardless, no matter what you do, you should try as many options as possible to avoid getting a divorce. The following tips can help you avoid divorce.
Tip 1 – Pleasure
Giving each other pleasure should be your first step to avoid divorce. A happily married couple can only stay happy if they are committed to the goal of giving each other pleasure. Although it sounds easy in theory, it is quite challenging when put into practice. Start by asking yourself if what you are doing will give your spouse pleasure or pain.
To make sure the exercise is productive so that you forget thinking of when to get a divorce, each of you should make two lists. One should identify what you would like your spouse to do or change to give you pleasure. The report should illustrate what your spouse does that causes you pain. When you are through with the lists, swap them and you will know what to do to improve your marriage.
Tip 2 – Rituals
Rituals are habits that strengthen and build a relationship. You should come up with a mutually satisfying friendship and love ritual. Most married couples mutter a greeting or just start talking when they meet in the evening after a day at work. Our actions will always affect how we feel and how others feel about us.
Start by taking a look at your good-bye and greeting rituals. In this case, you can try to greet each other with more enthusiasm than before. Once this has started becoming a ritual, you can improve the situation by considering some of these rituals:
• Have a date night at least once very two weeks
• Try saying two compliments to each other before you sleep. They should be new every night
• Anniversaries are special occasions that require special attention. Come up with a plan for something that you will both enjoy during such occasions
• Try calling your spouse daily (especially if you are the husband)
• E-mail and text each other often, preferably daily, with a compliment
Tip 3 – Communication
The listener-speaker technique’ should be learned by every couple which wants to stop thinking of when to get a divorce. The problem with most married couples is trying to find a solution before giving their spouse a chance to finish what they need to say. This method ensures that each person feels they have been fully heard before a resolution talk commences.
A simple way to go about the process would be having one person holding an object symbolizing that he / she has the floor. While one spouse has the floor, the other should listen. When the procedure is used, each person will be able to say everything they need to say without attack, criticism, rebuttals or interruption. Problem solving should proceed only after each person has been fully heard.
Tip 4 – Discussion
An abusive relationship is where you are afraid to express opinions and feelings. A feeling of safety should be created that will allow an individual to feel comfortable expressing his / her dissatisfactions, problems and feelings. A sense of safety is the foundation upon which a married couple negotiates issues that are bothering them.
It is common for every individual to enter into a relationship with expectations of how things should be. Lack of the ability to negotiate and communicate makes the issues to become sources for power struggles that inevitably damage the relationship.
When a couple combines these tips, they will have started repairing their marriage and will stop thinking of when to get a divorce.
Additional information on how to maintain a happy marriage should be applied. There are many resources that can help a couple stay happily married. Apart from online sources, one can look for tips from renowned writers on the subject. Alternatively, a couple can look at the behaviors of some of the happily married people they know. The behavior of such couples can help them discover other areas of their marriage that they are not paying attention to.