Happily Married couples, on the other hand, strike a balance, and make sure to also take time to ask “What is going well?”
Why you might ask?
You Become What You Think About Most of the Time
In his 1956 personal development classic “The Strangest Secret in the World”, personal development legend Earl Nightingale stated that “You become what you think about most of the time.”
Another way of looking at this secret is whatever you spend most of your time thinking on – you will get more of.
This “strangest secret” is a different way of looking at the often mentioned “law of attraction”, it’s the key behind the science of positive psychology and is also right at the core of I Love Being Happily Married’s Happy Marriage Skills training.
Think More About The Positive, “Happy Things” In Your Marriage
Don’t get us wrong, we are not saying to ignore any difficulties or “bad” things…
It’s just that as Tal Ben-Shahar, Psychology lecturer at Harvard University and one of the world’s best-known positive psychologists, says – “Good and Bad things happen to everyone.”
We’ll take that concept further to focus it on marriages and let you know that:
Good And Bad Things Happen To All Marriages.
What we are suggesting is that you also spend time and focus on the good things in your marriage and in creating more “positive” experiences together as a married couple.
Create More “Happy Memories” Together
Every “happy memory” you have as a couple, was once something you once did together and enjoyed. Can you do more of that? What other new “Happy Memories” can you create together?
It’s how you handle the bad things and how many “good things” you have built throughout your history together that helps keep the relationship in balance and happy.
Being Happily Married Does Not Equal Being Always Happy
As we state in our free email course, Seven Secrets of Happily Married Couples, “Being happily married, does not equal always being happy.”
As such, you need to be prepared to face together any challenges that life presents you.
It’s how you handle the “Bad” things and how much of the “Good” things you can bring into those moments that makes a very big difference in keeping the “Happy” in your “Happy Marriage.”
Ask Yourself These 3 Questions To Bring Happiness Into Your Marriage:
- What is going well in your marriage?
- What are things you enjoy doing together that bring happiness to your marriage?
- What new “happy memories” can you both create together?