Marriage is an institution that supports the family and upholds the values of the community. In fact, our communities would cease to exist as we know them if marriages keep on failing at such high rates. In other words, we will face dire consequences if we do not salvage this vital institution in our society.
Separation is period where spouses decide to take some time off from each other but the threat of divorce is always looming. Reconciliation after separation can put an end to this threat of impending divorce.
In order to do save the marriage, both partners should put in effort to setting aside their differences. But how can you set aside your differences after all the difficulties the marriage has already been through?
To help you in the process of reconciliation after separation, here are 6 tips that can help you save the marriage and get back the love you once had:
1 – Commitment Is Important
Commitment in a marriage is not a one-time thing though married people seem to think that this is so. They assume that their wedding vows were their ultimate show of commitment when this is simply not the case. You and your spouse should show your commitment to each other every day especially during this delicate period of reconciliation. Each of you should work hard to make the marriage a success. For example, both of you should refrain from doing anything that might irritate the other person. In addition, both of you should go out of your way to do what is necessary to make the marriage a success.
2 – Communication in a Marriage
Married people deal with a variety of issues including handling family finances, aspirations in education endeavors and styles of parenting among others. Dealing with these issues takes time and a lot of effort but communication between spouses can make things easier on both spouses. In contrast, lack of communication would cause the two partners in the marriage to drift apart simply because solving problems without communication is impossible. Setting barriers to communication such as conditions or consequences is also counterproductive. Therefore, couples should value the power of communication in a marriage or their marriages will go on downward spirals until they do.
3 – Patience Is a Virtue
Married couples often fight over issues that are beyond their control. For example, a couple may fight over money when an economic crisis has hit the entire country. The pressures of parenting or employment may also take a toll on you or on your spouse. Exercise patience during your separation even when faced with these pressures because the dark clouds hovering over your marriage will pass away. Heal the wounds of the past and let hope occupy your heart. Develop a long-term approach to issues as opposed to opting for knee jerk reactions. Remember, long-term solutions to your problems are always better than short-term solutions.
4- A Marriage Counselor Can Help
Spouses find it hard to see eye to eye after separation but a marriage counselor can show them how to keep their emotions in check so that they do not shout or curse at each other. Seeing a marriage counselor is also a good idea for non-confrontational people, as a counselor would show these people how to express their anger without hurting their partner’s feelings. It is important for you to note that marriage counselors are professionals trained to counsel people in troubled marriages. These professionals can help you with educational material on marriages as well as books on reconciliation after separation.
5- Make a Plan
Nothing in life succeeds without a plan and marriage is not an exception. You and your partner need to sit down and devise a unique plan on how to save the marriage. For example, how will you deal with your financial woes? The plan has to include all aspects of your life e.g. cultural, religious, social and economic aspects. Leaving out one aspect of your lives can lead to marital conflicts in future. Make a comprehensive plan today to avoid such problems. This plan should include your future aspirations and current abilities.
6- Positive Thinking
Things go wrong in marriage and people make mistakes. These are unpleasant facts that should not end your marriage. You and your partner made a vow to each other and you can honor it if you try. Embrace your partner will open arms and confess your love to him or her. Let go of all the pain in the past and instead, try to chart a new path based solely on the love you have for each other. As you can now see, reconciliation after separation revolves around two things i.e. trying to salvage your marriage as much as you can and thinking positively about the outcome of your trials.