This morning, as I browsed Facebook, I began to notice how many of the picture quotes had to do with a good marriage. I wasn’t really surprised… We attract what we give most of our attention to, and a lot of the pages I subscribe to are about relationships and marriage. But I’ve also come to believe that when I begin to see a consistent theme in the posts, it’s because I and those I serve may need to hear it. So, I try to listen to the message behind the messages in the posts. Today, the common theme was that having a great marriage – and, therefore, a relationship leading to marriage – involves making daily choices:
Choosing to love now, and now, and now… Choosing to focus on becoming the best versions of ourselves… And, the most recurring message was choosing to forgive. That’s the one I’ll focus on today.
Holding onto resentments, keeping “score” of one another’s mistakes, and making the other person “earn” your forgiveness is not about making your marriage work. It’s about being “right” and makings sure your spouse feels “wrong.” Both people in the relationship are human, and forgiveness cannot be “earned.” It is something that must be given. If you’ve been holding on to anger and resentment, try letting it go and notice the freedom you feel — the lightness — and the ability to allow love to flow freely to and from you.
Is there a past mistake that you’ve been holding against your spouse or boyfriend? Can you see what it is costing you in the form of lost intimacy, joy, and peace? Are you willing to let it go?