It is never easy to see your marriage implode, to fear the end of a relationship that you had thought would last forever. It is, after all, a promise you made to each other – to be there in sickness and health, in joy and sorrow till the last breath.
But a crisis in your relationship need not necessarily lead to the complete breakdown of a marriage. If you are willing to work together and move forward, then here is some valuable information on how to save a marriage in crisis.
The first step is to start communicating with your spouse, which means consciously sitting down and discussing your feelings freely. There might be different things bothering the two of you and it would really help if both the parties decided to understand the other’s point of view. Just pick a calm environment and listen to each other, without interruption or judgment to see what is going wrong. Only once you understand what is troubling your marriage can you begin to fix it.
It might be really helpful to see a counselor to help you navigate through the process of dealing with rebuilding the marriage. He or she often has useful insight for zeroing in on the trouble areas and pointing them out – something fighting couples may miss due to differences of opinion.
It is also important to speak freely with each other without ending up accusing each other and further worsening the situation. The counselor helps here too by keeping the peace and constructively working on the differences.
It might also be that over years of marriage, you have neglected to keep up that spark you once had. Think of all the things you have always loved doing together and go ahead with them. If they made you happy five years ago, there is no reason why it should not happen again. These could be as simple as going for a walk after dinner or sitting together in the backyard drinking wine after dinner – think of things that have fallen aside because of busy schedules and increasing responsibilities – and take time to be in each other’s company.
Often, a lot of issues build up over the years and couples bury their feelings up till the point it becomes too much to handle. But all is not lost even if this is the case. All you need to do is mutually agree to let the past be past and remember the good things instead of the negative ones. When both the parties let go and decide to start afresh, there is some forgiving from each side, helping in overcoming the crisis.
Decide you will be honest to each other about your feelings. When you openly talk about issues, it will build trust for a better marriage. Recognize and acknowledge all that you value in your spouse: it might surprise you how long it has been since you did that. Make time for each other, look at all that you have achieved together and then move forward to overcome this crisis in your marriage.