Mutual understanding and respect for each other plays a crucial role if you are serious about finding how to avoid divorce. The first step is to find out the main reasons behind the Divorce-situation. This takes a two way approach. This is more practical and time-saving than any other, for the simple reason that it is based on logic and mutual trust.
The first step is for both of you as individuals.
You can prepare a list with 3 simple columns.
• The incidents and the circumstances that have created the misunderstanding
• Your role and mistakes in creating the confusion (You have to be frank in writing your mistakes)
• Your spouse’s part and errors
Once you have done it, rework on every point (alone) and write down the possible solutions from your point of view.
The second step is to sit with your spouse and compare the two lists.
Chances are, the two lists may not match with each other. Don’t lose heart. Keep them aside and prepare a new similar list together. Now compare the three lists together.
Now, you are able to know
• The mindset of each other
• The needs of each other that have so far remained in your hearts
• Your misunderstanding of each other
• Your own faults and that of your spouse
The third step is to discuss about the solutions for how to avoid divorce. But before taking the third step, take a vacation together. Forget that you have been married and propose to each other newly. Go on your “First” honeymoon again. Here is where you start rebuilding the relations once again.
It is also time for you to start
• Listening to your spouse. Most of the times, you have just heard each other. Listening improves your mutual-understanding. Now you clearly know what your spouse needs and wants
• Finding your love and making it again: – This strengthens the emotional and physical bonding. Forget the past and make new commitments to each other
• Caring and sharing: – Discuss all the issues including the next financial, family and savings plans. If you have a kid back at home waiting for you, it is still better to focus your attention on the child(ren)
Once you are back, sit with your lists again (if required at all). Write the solution to each problem together now. If required, you can consult a marriage counselor and arrive at the best of answers for how to avoid divorce.