depression in marriage

depression in marriageDepression in marriage and mood disorders are some of the leading causes of unhappy marriages and contributing factors to many divorces.

The fact is that when one of the partners is depressed, the marriage suffers. The depression acts like a damper that wears down the intimacy in a relationship and often leads to anger and resentment. Depression in marriage affects both partners and it can pull down the healthy partner who may oftentimes blame him or herself for the illness.


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If you find yourself suffering from depression in your marriage, you must act right away. The longer one waits, the higher the chances that the relationship will be affected and that the situation may worsen. Depression is one of the leading causes of divorce, so you must take action if you are dealing with it in your own marriage.

Is your marriage suffering from depression?
People often misunderstand the illness, and this is the reason why couples fail to act on it. The longer the healthy partner lives with the depressed spouse, the higher the risks for the healthy one to become depressed as well. As the depressed partner goes deeper into a depression, the harder it becomes to treat the illness. Depression can also increase the chances for drug abuse, alcoholism, violence and suicidal tendencies.

Mood disorders are considered one of the major challenges in marriages as they are often unrecognized. In order to save the relationship, the couple must seek help.


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Take action and seek help
The healthy partner must realize that depression is not a choice. It is a serious illness that must be treated right away. While some people think that it is simply a matter of choice and behavior, depression is many times caused by a shift in the brain chemistry. This change affects the person’s thoughts, mood, sleep, energy levels, and appetite.

When you think that there’s depression in marriage, the first step is to help your partner get a diagnosis and treatment for it. Be on the lookout for small changes with your spouse. The one with the illness doesn’t recognize something is wrong. He or she will feel too withdrawn and will try to treat it alone.

Don’t let your spouse fall deep into depression. Get treatment for it as soon as one shows signs. Don’t go for short-term solutions. Depression can recur if it is not treated properly and can lead to high risk of suicide.

Steps to take
When you think that your spouse is depressed, approach your spouse with a concrete plan. Don’t tell him or her that they are depressed. It should be done in a calm and collected manner. Tell the partner that you are concerned about health and have made an appointment with the doctor to find out what’s wrong.

The couple must obtain the diagnosis together as it will help provide clarity on the situation and move you towards resolving the challenges you are facing. Working with a professional specialized in depression can rule out other causes of the sudden changes and determine whether it is depression or not.


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The couple must find course of action that works in their situation for dealing with the depression in their marriage. There might be issues that the two of you might need to work out in order to cope with the illness. It can be helpful to see a therapist together in some sessions and separately at other sessions.

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