Do you believe in “They Lived Happily Ever After”?

According to research, most married couples do… or at least the vast majority begins that way.

If that’s the case, what makes some couples give up along the way and get divorced?

Let’s examine the evidence…

In a survey published on the “Journal of Law and Human Behavior”, couples who had recently applied for a marriage license were asked what the odds of them getting a divorce were.

Their answer was “Zero” (0%).

Yet, when the same group was asked what the average divorce rate for the general population was…

Almost unanimously, they correctly answered around 50%.

How could there be such a wide difference between expectations and reality?

Why, if the majority of couples start with the expectations of “living happily ever after” and spending their whole lives together, do half of them get divorced along the way?

The Lack of Perceived “Risk of Failure”

Analyzing the findings, the authors of the study concluded that the difference in expectations vs. reality stems from the fact that most recently married couples do not perceive a “risk of failure.”

In other words, recently married couples assume that the “love they feel for each other” will be enough to carry them through any challenges and situations that life may present them.

They are so involved and enthralled with the marriage high and the whirlwind of emotions they experience for each other as newlyweds, that they assume that they will not need to “work” and put conscious effort towards strengthening their marriages.

Learn How and  Practice Daily at “Being Your Best Together”.

Our advice for newlywed couples, is to never take each other for granted.

Realize that just like world class Olympic athletes work with a coach and study how other great athletes play in order to raise their level of performance…

The best spouses constantly work at improving themselves within their marriage, and many seek outside help and marriage education to become the absolute best partners in their marriage.

Through this process of education and practice, and involving their spouses in the journey – both partners take an active role in strengthening their marriages.

There are many resources available for learning how to have a happy marriage and we invite you to subscribe to I Love Being Happily Married to receive our newsletter with valuable happy marriage skills.

Bonus! Receive ILBHM’s Seven Day Free Email Course
With your ILBHM Subscription, you will also receive for free our seven day email course “Seven Secrets of Happily Married Couples” which explains seven life skills designed to help bring happiness to your marriage.

Working Together for YOUR own Happy Marriage.

Your marriage is a work in progress that you and your spouse create every single day… Educate yourself on how to be the best spouse and realize that no one is “born knowing how to be the perfect spouse.”

That way you can ensure that your marriage will be included in the 50% that will stay together for the long run.

Wishing you a lifetime of Happily Married bliss!

3 Questions:

  • What were your expectations about your marriage and married life on your wedding day? How are they the same? How are they different?
  • Did you go through Pre-Marriage education before you got married?
  • Do you regularly study how to be a better spouse and work with your partner at improving your marriage?


Photo Credit:
Source: Journal of Law and Human Behavior on “When Every Relationship is Above Average: Perceptions and Expectations of Divorce at the Time of Marriage” (Vol. 17, No. 4, Aug., 1993)

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