Whether it is infidelity, sneaking around, lying, or any other reasons the marriage started to fall apart in the first place, you have to work together to rebuild, and learn to trust one another again.
These are several things you can do, as a couple, which are going to help rebuild a marriage, help spot the issues and learn from them, and allow you to work together, to ensure you are going to be able to move forward as a couple.
How to Rebuild a Marriage:
1. Understand what happened –
If it was an affair, or if your partner is just continually lying to you, you have to talk about it together. You have to find out what led them away, and what pushed them in to someone else’s arms. Only by talking together, and identifying what the problems are, will you be able to move forward and fix them.
2. Commit and rebuild trust –
This can be the most difficult thing to do, but if you can’t find a way to forgive the person, it is never going to work. No matter what the indiscretion is, you have to find a way to forgive them. You have to fully forgive them for what they did, in order to be able to move forward. Once you are able to do this (regardless of how long it takes), you have to recommit, and show each other why you are meant to be together.
3. Leave it in the past –
You can’t continually bring it up; a part of forgiving, is letting go, and leaving the indiscretion in the past. No matter what it was, if you continually use it as a guilt tactic, you are never going to get past it. So, you have to commit to leave it in the past, you have to fully forgive your spouse, and you have to move forward together.
4. Talk to a professional –
Sometimes to rebuild a marriage, having a professional, unbiased, third party, can help. You want to go to a professional marriage counselor, in order to talk; not a family member or friend, as this will lead to bias. Speaking in an open setting allows both of you to let things go, discuss what is bothering you, and truly understand your partners position. Having a third party as a mediator also ensures no argument will take place, and lets you step back, when you need some time to process somethings.
5. Give them time –
Sometimes trust, and forgiving takes time; let your partner have that time. Especially with infidelity and cheating, if you truly want them to let go, and leave the issue in the past, you can’t force or hurry them along, when they are trying to forgive you.
These are some simple tips that any couple should consider, when they are trying to rebuild a marriage, and want to be able to move forward from any issues they had in the past.
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